im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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