That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
