Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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