I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
