I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize