u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
