I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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