this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
