We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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