Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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