It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
