I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
