CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
