The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
