and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
