Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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