hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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