I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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