there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
