Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
