No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize