I CAN MOONWALK!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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