i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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