I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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