i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
