Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
50% drunk capacity currently
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
