But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
so much tequila, so little girl.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
