I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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