he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sext me about skeletons
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
