you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
