I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
