I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize