if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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