please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
