I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
