we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
