Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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