how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
