God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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