My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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