my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
