Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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