I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
