I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
