Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
