I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Boobs speak an international language.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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