Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
