she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize