it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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