I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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