you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
