they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize