The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
