My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
