We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
