He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
