Im at strip club and am horny
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
