dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
