I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
honey bunches of taint.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
