The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We had sex on a dog bed..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
