can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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