I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
