One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
being pregnant is like rehab
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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