Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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