how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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