69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Houston, we have a blender
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize