Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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