do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
