We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
