please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
