we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
