She's JV to your varsity
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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